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Would I be disappointed with you?

My client is very disappointed with their spouse.

In a previous call, I asked my client to work with their spouse to come up with three ways to grow in each of the Five Capitals** by the end of the year.

(**if you want to take Five Capitals assessment, click here and use FCCarlson10 for $10 off)

Now was time for the reveal.

My client read all of the ways they were going to grow. Below are some brief examples:

  1. More solitude.

  2. More dates with each other.

  3. Less TV.

  4. Find a mentor.

  5. Invite a new couple over.

  6. Be more generous.

It was a great list. One that would bring growth to them individually and as a couple.

I then asked, ‘Since you made the list, what progress have you guys made?’

My client said, ‘I am so disappointed in my spouse. My spouse did not do anything on the list! They aren’t even trying!’

Before I jumped on the bandwagon of the spouse being worthless, I felt a nudge to ask them a question.

So, I asked, ‘What progress did YOU make on the list?’

A moment of silence, and then they said, ‘Nothing.’

What?!?!?! Now, I am disappointed with my client.

Truth is, we all can be that way. Each of us can fall into the same below traps:

  1. Judge others by their actions, yet we judge ourselves by our intentions.

  2. Forgive ourselves, but not others.

  3. Accept our own brokenness, yet expect others to be perfect.

This applies to our marriages, our parenting, and at work.

Before we are quick to judge others on their performance, we need to assess ours first.

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