We all have a set of values in our home and company, whether they are stated or not. We know our actions are louder than our words. So, if we don’t state our values, our day to day actions will drive the culture. However, if our family believes in values and phrases, then we can become a family of consistency and integrity. A strong family unit gives you energy, confidence, and focus to be intentional at work, knowing home is in good shape.
UNIQUE YET POWERFUL PHRASES IN OUR HOME
1. Our ‘yes’ means ‘yes’, our ‘no’ mean ‘no’
Kids are smart. They know if they ask their parents enough times, then their parents will give in and say yes. This behavior leads to entitlement and even spoiled brats. When kids know your word is your word, then they will not beg or nag you asking you the same question over and over.
Why is this important? First of all, your kids respect you. If they know you will eventually give in, they don’t respect your word. Plus, a home where all are respected is more peaceful than constant negotiations about another snack or playing for “5 more minutes”.
2. Don’t give everybody your best, and we get the rest
Your work team sees your best self. The classroom sees your kid’s best self. All of us tend to give our best outside the home, then come home tired and have limited patience, love, or empathy for our family. With this phrase, we know we have to keep our best self in check when we walk through the front door.
Why is this important? We are out of the house all day fighting the fight. For us, we are working hard at the office, while our kids are working hard in the classroom. We shouldn’t come home and fight with each other. Home is the corner in the boxing ring. Where you sit on the stool, get water, wipe off the blood, get inspired from the coach, and then get ready to go back out there the next day. You need the recharge at home, and so do your kids.
3. Respect and Protect
This is a phrase I learned from a good friend, on teaching boys about women. Men need to ‘respect and protect’ women. Respect means show honor and equality. Protect means protect their image, body and mind.
Why is this important? Our young kids are tomorrow’s future leaders. If they understand how to respect and protect at a young age, then odds are they continue into their college years and into professional life. Respect and protect starts in the home by not yelling at each other, what you watch on TV, and the comments made in your home.
4. I am a Son / I am a Daughter
Identity is critical to one’s confidence, security, and life direction. We tell our kids they are defined by being a Son or Daughter of God. They are not defined by how many social media likes they have or how many goals they scored in soccer.
Why is this important? Many clients I work with still deal with image versus identity issues in their adult life. If we can establish identity now, then we are setting up our family for success. Our family members will not have extreme ups and downs since they are not dependent on temporal success or failure.
5. I love you
This is not unique but unfortunately is uncommon. Make sure you tell your spouse and your kids you love them. We all need to know that we are loved.
As always, thank you for reading.
Please let me know how I can help.