As I work with clients, ranging from scrappy entrepreneurs to people who make $1M+/year – what I find is all calls end up going to their home life.
Yes, we talk about leadership development and how to equip and empower employees, but we always end up talking about how to win at home first.
I find myself consistently sharing the same 10 tips with clients and want to share them with you.
Video 1: Date Your Spouse.
Sounds simple, but we either take it for granted and it doesn’t happen, or we have given up. A weak marriage affects your work…either now or sometime in the future. We must go on dates so each other feels pursued, valued, and respected.
Video 2: Date Your Kids.
A common theme with clients is they do not have a strong connection with their kids. My first response is, “what do you do about it?” Their response often times lacks intentionality in making the relationship work. Kids want our presence over our provision. Spend one-on-one time with your kids so they feel secure, confident, and loved.
BTW – I have no idea why I said pickleball in the video, but maybe it will mean something to somebody watching the video ?
Video 3: Say You Are Sorry.
Sounds simple, but to swallow our pride can be hard at times. We work hard all day and sometimes we let our guard down and stomp all over our own family. Short with our spouse, we can raise our voices, get annoyed with the kids, maybe late for an event, and the list goes on. We make mistakes as leaders. So we need to swallow our pride and say we are sorry for when we fall short.
Video 4: Forgive Others
In this video, I sound like your mom but Forgive Others. We often don’t operate at our full capacity because we are thinking about how someone has hurt us. Instead of thinking about the future, we are tethered to the past. When we are hurt by somebody at work or home, the person who did the hurting has moved on. Instead, you are the only one in bondage. Just as we have been forgiven, we need to forgive others. Great leaders forgive others, giving them the capacity to dream, lead, and create. Who do you need to forgive today? At work? At home?
Video 5: Serve Others
We get fulfillment by serving others. Most of us understand the idea of serving others at work, but not as much at home. Some of us think that because we worked all day that we served our family all day….not true. Our day does not end when we walk through the front door after a long day of work. Our day actually ends when our head hits the pillow. We need to roll up our sleeves and make sure we are not only serving those at work, but also those at home. Do more than your fair share. Not only does it help others, but it actually fills our cup up as well!
Video 6: Family Meals
Sounds old school, but it is often overlooked. Families are watching TV during meals or looking at phones. Instead, you need to disengage with technology and engage with family. We need to sit around the table at least once a week and connect with our family. No phones, no TVs, no technology. Ask questions to your spouse and kids. How was your day? What was your high? What was your low?
Be just engaged with your family during the meal as you are during a client meal!
Video 7: Don’t Yell
We can keep our cool all day long and not yell at coworkers, yet some of us can let our guard down when we get home. We are short-tempered and yell at our kids and even our spouse. As a leader, that is not the example we want to set for our kids, or how to treat our kids or spouse. An occasional yell or frustration may happen, even Jesus did it when the money tables were set up (John [2:13]-16) in the temple and he went through and overturned them. Great leaders have emotional balance and control their voice and emotions. They respond instead of reacting. They discuss instead of yell.
Video 8: Have Solitude
A great book I read over the last year was ‘Lead Yourself First’ and the main point was that leadership is in decline because leaders no longer have solitude. Solitude is critical to success as it provides for self-awareness and emotional balance.
We all need to increase our solitude. Whether it is 15 minutes first thing in the morning, in the car without the radio or a podcast on, or just a walk around the building during the day.
How and when can you increase your solitude this week?
Video 9 and 10: Will be posted soon…