September 14, 2021 Cory Carlson

We can choose to fight with, or for, our family

In the past few weeks, I have been reminded of the importance of family (and close friends!) and wanted to share some thoughts that may help you.

With conversations around religion, vaccinations, politics, sexual identity, and so much more – there is no shortage of debatable topics in our homes.

We can choose to fight with, or for, our family.

Brandon Carson was a recent guest on the ‘Win at Home First’ podcast guest.  Brandon is a VP with Walmart, and a thought leader in the learning and development space.  

We covered many great topics (you can check out his podcast here) but the one I want to dive deeper into on this blog is a little sappy.

The last conversation Brandon ever had with his mom was not good.

They were disputing something and one of them abruptly hung up the phone.

The two of them went a few days without speaking to each other, and unfortunately, during that time, his mom unexpectedly died before they could ever talk again.

The last conversation with his mom was not a good one.

Brandon carried that guilt for years and replayed the conversation numerous times in his head.

Thankfully, he has since forgiven himself and is at peace with the situation, but it is a story you need to hear so you avoid the pitfall.

This conversation with his mom has forever changed him on how he handles conflict and tension with family and friends, even co-workers.

Brandon now works to keep peace with others and to avoid the pitfall of disagreements. Yes, they may disagree, but he looks to end it in a peaceful way. The idea of, ‘agree to disagree.’

My podcast conversation with Brandon came up again this morning as I was reading Genesis 13 and 14.

Abraham and Lot were brothers and both were very wealthy, so ‘that the land could not support both of them dwelling together.’ (Genesis 13:6).

The place was starting to get crowded and tensions were rising.

Instead of fighting against each other and the strongest man win the land, Abraham took the high road and said ‘let there be no strife between you and me’ (Genesis 13:8) and made the decision to separate and take over different land.

Abraham and Lot kept the peace and agreed to go their different ways, thus leaving on good terms.

In the very next chapter, Abraham hears that Lot is kidnapped by the enemy.

Abraham begins to assemble his mighty men of 318 (Genesis [14:14]), to defeat the enemy and rescue Lot, plus all the possessions and people that were kidnapped.

This story is a perfect example of fighting for, and not, against our family.

Yes, they disagreed on who got which land, but they overcame that in order to keep the relationship.

We too will have disagreements with our family, but we need to look to fight for them.

Thankfully, dealing with kidnapping by the enemy and battles is not common in our world today, however, here are three ways to fight for our family:

  • Pray for them: Take time and pray for your family members. Pray that they are protected from spiritual and physical harm. Pray that they are growing closer to God each day.


  • Listen to them: People are lonely and sometimes they just need a loved one to talk with. If they ask for your opinion or how to solve the problem, then go for it. Otherwise, maybe just a phone call or two of being empathetic and just listening.
  • Serve them: Maybe you have a family member, or close friend, down on their luck right now. How can you serve them by taking them a meal? Or watch the kids for a little bit so the parents can go on a date?

If anything, at least tell a loved one, or close friend, that you love them and are grateful for them.

Thank YOU for all you do for me, my family, and my business. Whether it is reading, listening, encouraging, or praying for me – thank you.

– Cory

Cory Carlson

Cory Carlson is passionate about connecting people to greater performance and more significant purpose. Cory's competency of extensive sales/marketing and team development mixed with character of helping people have greater impact allows him to transform businesses and their leadership. As the leader goes, so does the company...and home. Cory's professional experience includes being President of Sales for national contractor, interactions with private equity ownership, boardroom meetings, to sales call with sales personnel. Coaching experience ranges from one-on-ones with CEOs/Executives to team workshops/retreats. If looking for holistic growth, let's connect!