How do marriages survive right now? How do we lead our families?
How do we inspire our companies and teams?
Maybe the most important question is, how do we lead ourselves right now?
People are tired. Tired of decisions, debating, and walking on eggshells.
Just in our house this last week, we have had new and old conversations that are either hard to navigate and/or quite frankly exhausting.
- The never-ending conversation about the vaccine.
- The new Tik-Tok trend of high school kids trashing bathrooms.
- How to use or not use pronouns.
- The new identity of ‘Furries’ showing up in high schools.
- Plus the most stressful one – should we get Crumbl Cookies this week? 🙂
Recently on my podcast, ‘Win at Home First’, I asked founding and senior pastor, Brian Tome, of Crossroads Church, which happens to be one of the larger megachurches in the country, ‘What is a key trait to win at both home and work?’
I appreciated Brian’s answer because he said that just a few years ago he would have answered that question with ‘vision’.
However, at this point in his life, he realizes that resiliency is needed more than ever before.
Resilience is about moving through a difficult situation.
It is not about avoiding it.
It is not about short-cutting it.
It is not about numbing yourself through it.
Resilience is about becoming a better person because of it.
Here are three questions to help us become more resilient:
1. How are you unplugging?
This does not have to be a 6-month sabbatical. Actually, that is probably the wrong answer according to Carey Nieuwhof, a thought leader on leadership development.
He says that our ‘off-work’ time can not make up for bad management of our ‘on-work’ time.
This is good news since many of us don’t have the luxury to even consider a long sabbatical.
We need to learn to manage our ‘on-work time’ better.
Unplugging helps us see the bigger picture. When we have our head down in our work drama, or even family drama, we think it is the only problem in the world.
However, by unplugging, even though the problem still exists, it becomes smaller in the grand scheme of life. So when we come back to the problem, we have a fresh perspective and possibly better ideas on how to attack it!
Go for a walk. Have quiet reflective time. Strategize your work problem by just using a whiteboard instead of a computer. Hang with friends and family.
Find out the best way you can unplug each day, week, and month.
2. How are you preparing?
Eric Greitens in ‘Resilience’ says, “The naive mind imagines effortless success. The cowardly mind imagines hardship and freezes. The resilient mind imagines hardship and prepares.”
We can’t prepare exactly for the difficult conversation we will have in one week.
We may not even know what the topic is about!
So, preparing is not about focusing on a specific situation. Instead, it is about preparing for any situation.
We prepare for battle by shoring up the foundation and sharpening the weapons.
We do this by spending time in solitude and praying, as well as what we are feeding our minds.
We need to be intentional about what we are not only reading and listening to, but also what we are telling ourselves!
Many of us tell ourselves lies, so we need to call out those lies early and often.
By capturing these thoughts, we can have a clean slate and a lighter mental load going into battle.
3. How are your thoughts starting your day?
You have heard me say it many times, that I control the input, God controls the impact.
When I think that I control the impact, I start my day looking at the results.
How many leads came in? How much money is in the account? What did that person say?
When I start with results, which are often lower than my lofty expectations, then I start off my day feeling defeated.
Thus my now deflated feelings cause my actions to be weak.
Which all causes me to have created a self-fulfilled prophecy, as now I have low results!
However, when I start my day with thoughts that I control the input, then I focus on getting the important things done with work and life.
Process over feelings!
I stick to my process of a set wake-up time, work out, quiet time, and then focusing on the lead indicators for my business.
These are tough times now, and the reality is they probably will never get easier, however, we can control how we handle each situation.
We cannot control the circumstances, but we can control our preparation, energy, and attitude – thus improving our resilience.