February 25, 2020 Cory Carlson

Do people you lead have a voice? What about your spouse?

Recently I was a guest on a women’s mastermind online coaching program for Cherylanne Skolnicki, to provide follow up Q&A to a ‘Win at Home First’ coaching session I did for them.

We had a great discussion and hit on many topics from managing your energy throughout the day to giving your family the best and not just the rest.

However, a topic with a lot of breakthrough was about engaging our spouses in discussions and decisions.

The irony is, I have these exact same conversations in my own coaching program with men about how to engage their spouses! 

This is not a male or female issue – it is a leader issue.

As I thought about this more, the majority of the time our leadership is the result of the quiet voices around us. 

If driven people are not careful, we can take the wind out of the sails for people in our life.

Your team, whether at work or home, may feel they do not have a voice because you have overruled them way too many times in the past. 

Let’s look at two places you lead.

Your team at Work.

If your coworkers made suggestions or project recommendations in the past and you shot them down, then they have stopped suggesting.  

Instead, they have become ‘yes men’ or ‘yes women’.  They always say ‘yes’ to your ideas because they are tired of getting their ideas rejected.  People don’t want to feel as if their voice does not matter.

By the way, our ideas by themselves are not the best.  Matter of fact, studies show that input from others will only elevate the quality of the idea.

How can you start to say ‘yes’ to their idea?  Or instead of shooting them down so quickly, how can you work together to build on their idea?

Give those you lead at work a win this week and watch the momentum build.

Your team at Home.

Have you ever asked your spouse ‘where do you want to go out to eat?’ and they say ‘I don’t care’.  If they say that once, then maybe they aren’t craving anything in particular.  However, do they always say it?  

If that is the case, then maybe here is how you got to this point.  Over the years, they suggested Mexican, however, you picked Italian.  They said casual and you chose expensively.  They said rent a movie and stay in, you chose to go see a movie.

Similarly to those we lead at work, the same thing happens at home.  If our vote weighs more than those on our team, then eventually the other team members don’t contribute.   They say ‘I don’t care’ or ‘Your pick.’

How can you honor your spouse’s vote or recommendation this week? 

Thank you for reading!

Cory

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Cory Carlson

Cory Carlson is passionate about connecting people to greater performance and more significant purpose. Cory's competency of extensive sales/marketing and team development mixed with character of helping people have greater impact allows him to transform businesses and their leadership. As the leader goes, so does the company...and home. Cory's professional experience includes being President of Sales for national contractor, interactions with private equity ownership, boardroom meetings, to sales call with sales personnel. Coaching experience ranges from one-on-ones with CEOs/Executives to team workshops/retreats. If looking for holistic growth, let's connect!